I have been married to a horseman for (gasp!) almost 27 years... am I really that old? In all that time, I have never joined him completely in his favorite pastime. Yes, I love the horses, I've ridden with him a tiny bit (mostly unsuccessfully), and I go to all the clinics he attends and learn quite a bit by watching. But I've never felt lead to "join" him or my two horsey daughters in their passion. This past year has been pretty difficult for me, with some family issues that I won't get into. I've struggled to keep my eyes on the Lord and try to feel that "joy" that I'm supposed to feel no matter what trials I face. But for the first time in my life, I have had a very hard time accomplishing that goal. I've felt discouraged, depressed and just plain sad for a good portion of this past year. I cover it up quite well with my smiles and busy-ness... but in private, my pain has been deep and abiding. (Gads..it's hard to even type this without bursting into tears, but what will that accomplish? )
So, Mike, my darling husband that I adore, has been searching for a kind hearted horse for me for quite some time. I believe God has perfect timing, and was holding off on letting Mike find the right one for me. I needed to be in the right place mentally, for one thing, and I needed to NEED a horse. Everything that I have tried to ease my mind and heart has failed lately. Finally, Mike took me to see a little Icelandic gelding named Thor. I fell in love with him...mostly because he was so kind and sweet to me... We decided we would get him... but alas... a few days later the owners decided to keep him. Mike was devastated and didn't want to tell me. Fortunately, God prepared me, and I was totally fine with not getting him... feeling like he must have not been the right horse for me, but knowing God put him in my way so that it would open a door for me. Something happened to me when I sat on that little horse. I felt like, for the first time...I could do this! I'd never gotten excited at the prospect of owning my own horse or starting the journey of building a relationship with one.
A few weeks went by and we found another Icelandic...a mare.. that we though maybe we could go see. She happened to be on Orcas Island. Knowing Ron is the only vet on the island, we decided to ask his sweet wife, Maggie, if she knew of the lady and her Icelandics... she did and shared what she knew. We made plans to go visit... but meanwhile...Maggie's wheels were turning (I think someone up above was influencing her, myself! ) She had a horse that she thought would be perfect for my situation. I was tickled when my friend, Jeanie, told me about Lir (now Solomon)... I never thought it was within the realm of possibility that I could own a Gypsy Vanner Horse. We went to visit them a week or so later and he was everything Maggie said he would be. And more.
I can't explain how my heart feels when I am just standing next to this beautiful creature...the way he looks at me, how gentle he is... I have always been afraid of failing at this "horse thing", especially in a family with a farrier who is a very good horseman, and two daughters who know so much. But mostly...just my own fears getting in the way of my learning something new. But my life is requiring me to try some new adventures and fill my life with good things. I just can't believe (though I should KNOW) how perfect God's timing is! Oh it's going to be a glorious year. I'll try to share my ups as well as my downs as I learn from and with Solomon. Some of it will probably be boring to read about, but every little step is ridiculously exciting to me. I was proud that I mucked today and even haltered him by myself! (I can never figure out which way to hold the doggone thing!)
So...yeah...here we go! Thanks for reading....and if you feel so inclined... your prayers are welcomed...for me and my family... I hope this encourages somebody....
PS... Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. James 1:17
Love, Deb
Thank you, Debbie, for sharing your heart. You encourage me. And I can't wait to go on your horsey journey with you!
ReplyDeleteAnnmarie
I'm excited to read about your adventures, too!
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